


The Nearly Secret Life of Edward Strauss

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 08:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2421707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It takes two to tango, and I've always been a lousy dancer.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nearly Secret Life of Edward Strauss

**Author's Note:**

> Erin Strauss has a son in canon. He doesn’t even have a name, so I gave him one. I've fallen in love with Ted and his relationship with these two characters.

“What's going on with you?”

“Hmm?” Dave looked up from his book. Erin was sitting yoga style in the middle of their bed, Mudgie’s head in her lap.

“Something’s wrong.” She said.

“What? What's the matter, baby?”

“No David, not with me. Something’s wrong with you. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. This book isn’t as suspenseful as advertised.”

“How long have we known each other?’ Erin asked.

“Do you want the official number or shall I round off to the nearest tenth?” Dave countered.

“Just the fact that you can round off means it’s been a long time.”

“Mmm hmm,”

“So you know I'm well-versed in your moods, right? I bet you didn’t even know this but I can tell how you feel about something based on how your eyebrows arch when you talk.”

“Really? That’s intriguing.”

“That’s how I know that even though you're bringing the banter, your stomach is churning. You want to tell me something but something’s stopping you.”

“I thought I was the profiler.” Dave smirked, sliding a bookmark between the pages. He’d hardly been reading it anyway.

“You are…I'm just the girlfriend. I've got a PhD in the nuances of David Rossi.”

“C'mere baby.” He put his book on the nightstand and held out his arms.

Erin gently moved Mudgie onto the bed, crawling into Dave’s lap. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. Dave bent to kiss her shoulder as his arms wrapped tighter around her back.

“Sometimes,” he took a deep breath. “Sometimes people confide in you but it’s hard to keep their confidence. You care about them; you worry as well. The idea of betraying the confidence and losing that trust…it hurts too much to think about.”

“I understand that.” she replied nodding.

“Baby, you need to talk to Ted.”

“Ted?” Erin jumped. “Oh my God, what's the matter with Ted? David…”

“Take a deep breath.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “If his life were in danger you know I would’ve told you. He knows I would’ve told you. I could never keep something like that from you.”

“Is he on drugs?” She asked, praying the answer was no. Erin knew he put himself under a lot of pressure to be the best. She and Eli had probably put that pressure on him as well.

“No. He’s a good kid, and I know even good kids take wrong turns but Ted is not on drugs.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Dave nodded.

“I need to call him.” Erin climbed off Dave’s lap, going over to the dresser for her iPhone.

“It’s getting late.”

“I could care less. If something is wrong I want to know what's happening.”

“Please let him know that I didn’t betray his trust, Erin. That’s really important to me.”

“Of course I will.” She went back to the bed, leaning down to kiss him. “I love you. I love that you keep my son’s confidences and care about him.”

“I love you too; I love you both.”

“I'm going to my room for a little while.”

“Sure.”

Erin walked out of the master bedroom. Mudgie came over, plopping his head onto Dave’s lap. He absently scratched behind the dog’s ears. He was feeling better while still feeling awful. No, he hadn't betrayed Ted’s trust, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be angry.

The last thing he ever wanted was to be confronted by his mother about this. Edward Strauss was a good kid, a sweet kid, but he was not perfect. His parents seemed to think he was and this might shatter the fantasy with the force of a wrecking ball. All Dave could do was catch Erin if she fell. As for Ted, he hoped the two of them would still be friends after he talked to his mother.

***

Erin hit four on her phone and listened to it ring. The room was quiet so between rings she listened to her heart attempting to burst right out of her chest. She wasn’t a naïve woman, of course her son kept certain things from her. She kept secrets from her mother and the two women had been close for Erin’s entire life. But the look on Dave’s face and his behavior lately worried her. If he was that thrown off balance then this had to be something bad. He said it wasn’t drugs but there were plenty of other things that could ruin Ted’s life before he even got out of the starting gate.

“Hey Mom, is everything alright?”

“Why are you asking me that?” Erin asked.

“You're calling me at quarter after eleven on a Thursday. Are you sure? Are you and Dave OK? Is Dad alright?”

“Everyone is fine, Teddy. What are you up to?”

“What am I up to?” Ted repeated. “I'm not doing much tonight. Jay came over and we watched White Collar while finishing last night’s pizza. I did some reading for my Lit class earlier. Jay just left and I was going to take some deep breaths and stare at the ceiling before calling it a night. I'm due at the Spectator by 10 tomorrow. Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“Sweetheart, David didn’t betray your trust but for the past few weeks I've known something has been up with him. I called him on it tonight and he told me that he’s keeping your confidences. Ted, I know that I'm your mother and you don’t want to tell me everything but…”

“I'm gay, Mom.” Ted cut her off.

“What?”

“I'm gay.”

“Oh Ted, I…”

“I know that you’ve probably had visions of grandchildren in your head since I reached puberty. Hell, I might not be opposed to starting a family one day but I'm never getting married. Well, at least I'm not getting married to a woman. I'm gay, and women don’t interest me in that way. I'm sorry if I've broken your heart but I was silly to think I could keep this secret forever.

“I wouldn’t want to even if I could.” Ted went on. “All my friends here know, Nora knows; I've been living two lives for years now and I apologize for that. I don’t like keeping things from you but I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I didn’t want you to be ashamed. I love you more than anything and that would’ve killed me.”

“Edward, I've known you were gay for almost a decade.” Erin replied.

“Huh?”

“I'm your mother; you think I didn’t know. Two words, love of mine…Sam Seaborn.”

“Mom!” Ted groaned.

“You had the most ridiculous crush on him. It was obvious even to me and I can admit to being clueless about that sort of thing. You used to have a thing for his dimples.”

Ted laughed. “You're talking about Josh Lyman. Josh was the one with the dimples. Sam was Rob Lowe.”

“Oh, right, OK. Well whatever, Josh, Sam, you knew what I meant. I suspected then and that was what, 2000? You were barely a teenager. I didn’t care; you were still my Ted.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course I do. Sweetheart, I am so proud of you. I love you so much and I don’t care that you're never getting married. OK, it sucks that you're never getting married but I’ll get over it. Nothing would ever make me stop loving you.”

“Even if I…” he stopped.

“What? Even if you what, Ted?”

“Mom, I'm so far from perfect.”

“I know that.” she said.

“No, sometimes I'm not sure that you do. I think in your eyes I'm always going to be that ten year old who won the spelling bee or the writer who won those framed awards Dad still has on the walls of his office. I've done regretful things.”

“Oh sweetheart, haven’t we all? I could scare the hell out of you and tell you what I've done over the years. Some of it has come home to roost. Some of it won't lay eyes on me again until Judgment Day. But it’s out there. Everyone makes mistakes, hurts people, and regrets things…that’s life. It’s what makes us who we are.”

“I'm having an affair with a married man.” Ted replied.

“I'm going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“OK.”

“Is that what you told David?” Erin asked. Her hands were shaking now.

“Yes.”

“What did he tell you?”

“To walk away, even though he said it wouldn’t be easy. He said it would hurt like hell and I would backslide because you just do, and he was right. I'm trying; it’s an everyday struggle. And he knows it…he knows he has me.”

“Oh baby, dammit to hell.”

“Mom, don’t cry. Please…”

“Do you want me to ruin his life?” Erin asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“I can ruin his life, Teddy. I can have him on a terrorist watch list before the sun comes up. I can ruin his credit; I can destroy his career.”

“Mom! It takes two to tango, and I've always been a lousy dancer. I’m a grown man now; I’ll deal with this and I’ll get through it. I just want this to be the last conversation we have about it. I shouldn’t even have told you but…a part of me just desperately wants you to know that I'm fallible. I can be stupid and selfish and hurtful.”

“Wow, OK. I just want to protect you. I want to protect all of you because I'm your mom. I know I wasn’t perfect either; mistakes were made all around. But I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom. I'm sorry. See, I've already done something else I regret.”

“Meet someone who loves you…only you. Don’t stand being someone’s Tuesday evening pleasure. Your father and I raised you better than that. We all get caught up sometimes in feelings or whatever you want to call it. But please, save yourself. I can't wrap you up in my arms and run away from this. I have to step aside and let you do this yourself. I hope you know that’s the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ted replied.

“You probably need to go to bed.” Erin said. “What are you working on for the paper?”

“I have to clean up my interview with Dr. Jill Biden. She was here last week for a talk on the importance of education in the 21st century. It took 20 rounds of Rochambeau, but I came out on top. I wasn’t walking away without that interview.”

“Did you tell your sister that?” Erin asked, managing a smile. “I remember the summer we went to Nova Scotia and you and MK would get lost in that silly game for hours.”

“I did actually. She was proud but declared she could still beat me. She’s probably right.”

“Well, go to sleep sweetheart. We’ll talk again soon.”

“I’ll call you in a couple of days. I’ll probably text you in the morning. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.”

“Give Dave my love and tell him thank you.”

“I will.”

She wasn’t ready to hang up. More than anything Erin wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let go. But he was almost 21 years old and she couldn’t coddle him anymore. Ted had to be out there in the world; he had to take his knocks. He would have tragedies, triumphs, victories, and epic failures.

This would make him a better person; a stronger man. Hiding under his mother’s skirt, something he never did anyway, surely wouldn’t help now. She wondered if David knew the name of this slimy bastard her son was involved with. She could make good on her threat. At least put him on a terrorist watch list…Penelope Garcia could do that in her sleep.

“Goodnight, Mom.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Erin hung up the phone, dropped it on the bed, and cried. She hated crying but she cried anyway. Ted was hurting and that hurt her. She knew he was resilient, smart, and strong; he would make it through this. But just knowing that he fell into this pit, that he was vulnerable to that kind of thing, that she couldn’t protect him; Erin could hardly stand it.

Dave came into the room and wrapped his arms around her. She was so grateful that he was there, that Ted had someone to confide in even if it almost caused him to get a bleeding ulcer. How amazing was he to make himself available like he had?

“You're one of the good guys, David Rossi.” She whispered, trying and failing to suck it up.

“Am I?”

“Yeah, about 76.9% of the time.”

“That’s a good number.” He nodded, rubbing her back. “What did Ted say?”

“He came out of the closet. It’s really about time; he didn't need to hide that from me anymore. Its 2010, I can handle it. He could’ve kept the affair to himself though.”

“He told you that?” Dave’s eyes went wide. He’d sooner die than ever tell his mother something like that, God rest her soul.

“No names, places, or details thankfully.” Erin pulled away and wiped her face. Then she rested her forehead on Dave’s chest. She was so tired now. “Do you know his name?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“If you water boarded me, maybe. Other than that…no.”

“OK, I respect that. But slip Garcia a piece of paper and have her put his name on a watch list. It won't ruin his life, just a simple government error, but it'll take years to clear up.”

“I fear you're serious.” Dave replied.

“Look at my face, David.”

“I see it.” He was torn, but leaning toward giving Penelope the jackass’s name. “C'mon baby, I think its bedtime.” He stood from the bed and pulled Erin up too. When Dave turned around to walk out Erin wrapped her arms around his waist and followed him step for step.

In the bedroom, Mudgie slept at the bottom of their king-sized bed. Erin crawled in, over Dave’s side and onto hers like she always did. Dave turned off the lamp before he got in as well, spooning behind her.

“I won't ever be able to think of him as a little boy again.” she whispered after they'd been lying in the dark for a while. If she didn’t know Dave as well as she did, Erin would’ve assumed he was asleep.

“He might see that as a good thing. You might too, one day.”

“More than my wanting him to be a man I can be proud of, I want him to be a man he can be proud of.”

“I know, baby.” Dave kissed the nape of her neck. “Go to sleep; we’ll deal with this more in the morning.”

“You're gonna give Penelope the name, right?”

“The bastard won't fly again until a Republican becomes the mayor of San Francisco.”

“That’s a comforting thought.” Erin stroked his hands. “Goodnight, David.”

It was time for her to go to sleep. Tomorrow was another day at Quantico; Erin would have to be in full Strauss mode. She couldn’t let her personal life affect her job. Ted was safe and happy for the most part. There were some things he needed to take care of or stop doing but she had faith in his ability to take care of himself. He’d always been able to do what made him happy and not worry about what others were thinking and doing.

Erin taught him that…she taught all of her children that. Unfortunately she was too busy trying to be perfect that she never got the chance to teach them to learn from her mistakes. Tonight had been mind-boggling enough. Ted didn’t need that image of his mother to carry around in his pocket for the rest of his life. He knew she wasn’t perfect. And now she had to face that he wasn’t either.

***

  



End file.
